If you read the “about me”, then you may be wondering why the title of the blog is “In The Mess”. It is so easy to look at the highlight reels of people’s lives and think what mess. Well, I’m here to tell you I have mess, and I’m writing this blog while I’m in the middle of a messy season. It’s my nature to want to clean up my challenges before putting my life on display, but the truth is LIFE IS MESSY.
We have two furry dogs and a baby, I can pick up all day long and my house can still be a disaster. Just this morning, I’m cleaning up the kitchen only to turn to find Miller has thrown a deck of cards in the living room. I guess my game of 52 card pick up will have to wait until after bedtime. I remember when Bradley and I first got married. Whew that first year of marriage was like holding a mirror up to my heart. The last 22 years were all about me, so I saw a whole lot of selfishness when I looked into that reflection. Even though I was being stretched, I can look back and see all the beauty from that precious season. I learned so much about grace and had the opportunity to draw close to my savior.
My ‘In The Mess’ journey started about 18 months ago when I first found out that I was pregnant. During that exciting time, we had some major unknowns. In fact, I have a blog post that I never released that I could share with more details. By God’s grace, Miller remained healthy throughout my entire pregnancy. Unfortunately, my body hit some major speed bumps along the way.
The picture above is from our Baby-Moon. Shortly after returning, I found out that I had gestational diabetes. In fact, there was no question about it. We tried everything to control my sugars but ultimately ended up resorting to insulin. Yikes, I remember breaking out in hives and crying while learning to check my sugars and give myself insulin. Pregnancy hormones are not beneficial when going through such dramatic life changes. (If you’re currently walking through this season, my heart breaks for you. Please know that you’re not alone in this, and there’s hope! Feel free to reach out to me and ask questions or just know someone has persevered.) I could go on about all the ways I was challenged physically and emotionally during pregnancy, but I will just stick to the highlights. I was SCARED and constantly clung to the prayer ‘God let my faith be bigger than my fear’. Physically, I had to rely on God’s strength. Come on, every pregnant women should be able to enjoy a big fat Great American Cookie with a ChickFilA sweet tea. 🙂 My sweet husband had both of these treats waiting for me after delivering Millie.
So, here I am nine months later. I always had the threat of Type Two diabetes in the back of my mind, so I pushed myself to work out, loose the baby weight, and maintain a healthy diet. In July, my family went on a cruise and it was as if my welcome home celebration was feeling miserable. I just didn’t feel well so I decided to check my sugars — they registered in the 600s! Needless to say, we chose to air on the side of caution.
Two weeks later, my test results confirmed Type One diabetes. Now two days after that, here I am writing this SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS MESS. I’m not a writer and not a photographer, but I’m choosing to be obedient in sharing hope when things feel hopeless. My husband ran across a blog, ColorfulEats, that completely transformed the start to this journey. Caroline shares a similar story to mine. It made me feel less alone, more understood, and HOPE. So my why is HOPE. I pray this blog can be encouraging to someone trying to change their lifestyle, relatable when you feel like you’re alone in a messy season, and provide hope that you can choose to BE JOYFUL IN HOPE even during challenging trials.
I don’t know where this blog will lead, but I know we can walk through these new adventures together. 🙂